The Fourth Time
by headoverhook
Summary: You always meet twice in life, but sometimes it takes you more than two meetings to realize that you've met your second half. 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' AU.
1. Chapter 1

_This popped into my head out of the blue, and the moment I allowed my muse to play with the idea she jumped up and down with glee. It was supposed to be only a one-shot, but then it spiraled out of control and turned into a 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' AU. :-)_

 _I also wrote this as a birthday and thank you gift for a dear friend on Tumblr who gave me the best present ever by sending me a signed picture of Colin. I can't thank her enough for that ... the only thing I can give her is this little ficlet in five parts._

 _For your information, the next two parts are already written and I intend on updating every Sunday and Wednesday._

 _Last but not least … special thanks as always go out to my beta reader mearcats who corrects all the silly mistakes I make._

* * *

 **Wedding I – Robin and Regina (June 2011)**

Emma slipped into the church, being careful to close the big door as silently as possible. No one looked back at her as she stepped into the last pew, and she let out a relieved breath as she settled in, glad she didn't miss the actual vows.

She wasn't really a fan of weddings and she didn't need a therapist to tell her that her dislike of these occurrences stemmed from her own experience with Neal. He hadn't left her at the altar, but it had been close. She'd thanked God and the universe a few times for that after he'd left her hanging and she ended up in juvie for a crime he'd committed. Not to mention the pregnancy test she'd taken because she'd feared he might have knocked her up that had fortunately showed her a minus instead of a plus.

She sighed inwardly as she remembered how trusting she'd been at seventeen, how she'd believed after her shitty childhood she would finally have a life worth living. That the tables were turning for her. But of course they hadn't, she should have known that. Maybe then the fall wouldn't have hurt so much.

Forcing herself to let the past stay in the past, she concentrated on the goings-on at the altar. Everyone was smiling – the bride and the groom, the bridesmaids and the groomsmen. She was happy for Robin and Regina, too. It wasn't as if they'd had an easy life so far. They deserved to be happy.

The vows were only minutes away when Emma heard a sound behind her. Maybe it was the fact that she'd sneaked into the church herself earlier that made her hear the faint squeak of the doors opening. Tilting her head, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye as someone slipped into the pew opposite of hers. She turned her head just a fraction further to eye the newcomer, being pleasantly surprised when she took him in. He was definitely handsome, his hair a touch too long, artfully ruffled, scruff covering his cheeks, and from what she could gather he cut quite the figure in his three-piece suit.

She was so immersed in studying him that she was unaware of him watching her, too. A jolt rushed through her when their eyes locked, and she hoped he wouldn't see the blush rising up in her cheeks. Thankfully they reached the 'exchanging vows' part right in that moment and she turned her head forward again.

The vows were beautiful, and she had to admit she needed to gulp down a few tears. She didn't normally have much of a romantic side, and she wanted to escape the first rush of congratulations when the freshly married couple stepped out of the church.

She stood up silently just a few minutes before the end of the service, avoiding looking over at the other side, not wanting to get caught eyeing the handsome stranger once again. With a relieved sigh she walked into the sun, tilting her head upwards to enjoy the warmth for a few seconds before she needed to move.

Fortunately, her task had been to provide the emergency pack of cigarettes. She desperately needed one right now. She'd congratulate the happy couple later, right now she walked briskly around the corner of the church and disappeared into the shrubbery, looking for a place where she could smoke in peace without getting disturbed, finding just the right spot moments later.

But apparently someone had followed her, the branches rustling as someone walked through them to join her in her hiding place. She wasn't even that surprised when her pew neighbor stepped beside her.

"Can I have one?" he asked and she handed him the pack wordlessly, contemplating whether to engage in small talk or not. The handsome stranger took the decision out of her hand as he blew out a stream of smoke and turned towards her, bowing slightly at the waist. When he straightened again he shot her a lopsided smirk and said, "Killian Jones, by the way."

"Emma Swan," she replied, taking the pack back from him and lightening a cigarette for herself, almost closing her eyes as she breathed in the first drag of smoke. She didn't smoke very often, only at special events, and she actually cherished the few times she allowed herself to enjoy a few cigarettes.

"Emma Swan?" he questioned, his accent making her surname sound completely different. She wasn't sure she liked it, especially not when that accent was wrapped in a very handsome package. And judging from the smirk on his face, he knew damn well how handsome he was. He knew exactly what worked and what didn't, so of course his accent became even more pronounced as he added, "Lovely name."

"Save it," she shot back, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"Pardon me?"

Who still talked like that? He sounded like some British nobleman from the nineteenth century, the three-piece suit just reinforcing that image. Her body's reaction to his handsomeness annoyed her, so she said brusquely, "You can save your charm for a woman who's actually interested."

"Ah, I see," he replied, cocking one eyebrow, the movement making her want to smack him, an insane overreaction she struggled to keep inside. "So you're definitely not interested?"

"No, definitely not," she reiterated firmly, adamant about not letting her body win over her head.

"Using my charms on you would be a total waste of my time, then?"

"Yup." She nodded sharply, taking another pull of her cigarette and blowing the smoke out before she spoke again, "I'm not interested in hooking up with anyone at this wedding. Too much hassle. Either they're total jerks or they want more. Either I'm feeling unsatisfied or guilty for not wanting more."

"Hmmm." He tilted his head slightly to the side, crinkles appearing in the corner of his eyes when he shot her another grin, the sparkling light in his eyes telling her she would probably not like what he said next, "But how're you supposed to find love if you don't even try the goods, so to speak?"

"Love?" she scoffed, shaking her head. "Love just makes you weak."

"That point of view is a little harsh, don't you think, love?"

"You disagree?"

"No. Actually, I don't.

"I won't swear off sex," she told him, cursing herself silently a second later for mentioning it as blatantly as that. But still she couldn't keep herself from saying, "As long as I find a partner who actually knows what he's doing."

"Is that a challenge, Swan?"

She'd just told him only a few moments ago that she wasn't interested in taking him for a ride, but as she looked into his sparkling blue eyes there was a hard tug deep in her stomach. His mouth curled up into a lascivious smirk, one of his eyebrows lifted, and the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, "Are you up for one, Jones?"

His teeth flashed bright white as his smirk turned into a grin, a grin that sent a shiver through her whole body, starting at the top of her spine and ending in the tips of her toes. Not to mention that her nipples tightened and her core started throbbing with need. She swayed involuntarily forward, letting her gaze drop to his lips for a split second before meeting his eyes again, the intensity in his gaze taking her breath away.

She wanted to kiss him, she wanted to slip her hand into his pants and find out how well built he truly was, she wanted to see his eyes glaze over with desire. She wanted to sample the goods after all. He was just too much of a temptation to withstand.

He stepped forward, closing the gap between them. He lifted one hand to her face, tangling his fingers in her hair and tugged softly, forcing her to tilt her head back, giving him the perfect angle to kiss her. Her eyes fluttered close when he leaned down and she waited for his lips to make contact with hers, every fiber of her vibrating with desperate need and then ...

"Emma? Are you out here somewhere?" Elsa's frantic voice interrupted the moment and her eyes flew open. Killian dropped his hand immediately and stepped back, turning away to hide the obvious bulge in his pants she'd just spotted. Jesus, she wanted to curl her fingers around it and feel the velvety skin against her own, wanted to pump him until he spilled his release all over her hand. Her heart was thumping madly in her chest with unfulfilled lust when Elsa rushed into the small clearing, almost throwing herself at Emma. "Thank God! I'm in desperate need of an emergency cigarette."

"What happened?" Emma asked, trying to get her libido under control to find out what got her friend that riled up.

"This damn Jon… oh, hey Killian. Didn't know you were able to make it after all."

Emma hadn't made the connection before, but when she saw Elsa's face pinking with embarrassment she realized that the man standing by her side must be the little brother of Liam Jones, the best friend of the groom. She'd never met Liam's brother before, obviously. As far as she knew he was in the English Navy, Mary Margaret even telling her once there were rumors he might be a member of MI6, though she definitely didn't believe that. But he did cut quite a figure in his suit, he could clearly pass as a James Bond.

After finding out they were brothers, the resemblance between Liam and him couldn't be denied, the same brilliant blue eyes and facial features. But that's where the resemblance stopped. Liam always seemed to have a stick up his ass. He was nothing like his little brother, who was throwing around his charm as if there were no tomorrow. She'd never felt one tiny spark when she looked at Liam, but with Killian … damn, there was definitely a spark there. A spark that just needed a little air to blow up into a roaring fire and swallow her whole.

Not that she could actually test that theory at the moment, Elsa looked beyond desperate. Apparently Killian noticed it, too, because he excused himself a moment later and sauntered back to the church. She let her gaze linger for a few seconds on his gorgeous ass before she pulled herself back to the crisis at hand.

"What did Liam do this time?" she asked as she gave Elsa a cigarette and the lighter, wondering how the stern Brit always managed to rile her friend up like that.

"Nothing worth mentioning." Elsa lighted the cigarette and waved her off, pulling so hard on it that she inhaled half of the thing in one drag.

"Yeah, right. There's no reason for you to devour your cigarette like that, then?"

"He is just driving me batshit crazy," Elsa said, followed by a heavy sigh and Emma was just about to tell her to get it finally over with when Elsa raised her hand to stop her. "And no, don't give me the whole 'maybe you should jump him to get rid of all the sexual tension' shit. I've told you time and time again there is nothing between us. Absolutely nothing."

Emma wondered when Elsa would stop being this stubborn and just give in to the attraction she felt for one Captain Liam Jones, but it wasn't as if she herself had a stellar record when it came to men and relationships so she kept her mouth shut. She pulled out another cigarette for herself, wondering if she might have to buy another pack if the first hour of this wedding was any indication of how the rest of the day and night might proceed.

-xxx-

Emma couldn't help but smile as she watched Robin swirling Regina around on the dance floor. They were a very handsome couple, and obviously deeply in love with each other. She tried to ignore the slight pang she felt in her heart, following the pair with her eyes as they made their way back to the table where Roland was waiting for them, his face smeared with remnants of the chocolate cake he'd apparently just devoured.

She'd given up on finding true love a long time ago, the scars Neal had left behind probably too deep for her to ever trust anyone again. Most of the time she was fine with her obvious fate as a single woman. But there were times - like right now - when she wished it could be different, feeling a slight twinge of jealousy when she watched other people being ridiculously happy with the love of their lives. Not that she believed in such a thing. Love couldn't last forever. That just wasn't possible.

Turning around with an inward sigh, she reached for her glass of red wine, downing the contents in one swoop before raising her hand to order another one. The barkeeper was on his way towards her when she felt someone step into her personal space, and she was about to turn around and give whoever was standing behind her an earful – she was just in the right mood for a scolding - when the other person spoke.

"So ... all you have to do is pick a partner who knows what he's doing?"

She knew before she turned around who was standing behind her, so close that she actually felt his chest brushing up against her back. It took some effort to refrain from rocking backwards to see if she could spark the same arousal in him that his question had sparked in her. But she resisted the temptation and turned around to him, leaning back against the bar so that she could actually look him in the eyes to see the effect her words would have on him.

"Are you telling me you'd be the right partner to pick?"

He answered her with a dazzling grin and cocked an eyebrow, his eyes sparkling with amusement when he drawled, "Aye, I am."

Maybe it was the two Cosmopolitans she'd just poured on an empty stomach, or maybe it was the fact that she hadn't had sex in forever. Maybe it was the fact that he looked extremely handsome in a three-piece suit, or the fact that his accent did wicked things to her nether regions, or maybe it was the challenging glint in his eyes and the cocky smirk on his face that made her say, "Then let's go."

He didn't miss a beat, his hand coming to rest on the small of her back as they walked out of the ballroom. A few minutes later, the door to a supply closet closed behind them.

Before she could question her decision to have sex with a practical stranger she was swirled around and his lips crashed down on hers, his tongue slipping into her mouth without preamble. Her hands curled around his neck for purchase as he backed her against the opposite wall, devouring her mouth and kissing her senseless.

If the kiss was any indication she was in for a hell of a good time. Her nipples tightened into hard peaks and wetness shot straight between her legs when she felt the evidence of his arousal press into her stomach. The kiss left her slightly dizzy, and she was gulping in air when Killian leaned back, his fingers playing down her neck and cleavage, fluttering over her hard nipple. She let out a soft moan when he slipped his hand between her dress and skin and pushed it down her shoulder, taking the strap of her bra with it until her breast spilled out.

"Gorgeous," he rasped, and then his lips closed around her nipple, sucking it into his mouth, his teeth scraping over it while his tongue flicked back and forth.

Her knees nearly gave out on her when he let her nipple pop out of his mouth, and his eyes were a stormy gray as he looked at her, his hair completely disheveled by her fingers, the look making her walls clench in anticipation.

She wanted to pull him close again, wanted to have another breath-stealing kiss but he took a step back and started to lower himself down on his knees.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked foolishly since it was blatantly clear what he wanted to do.

"You wanted someone who knows what he's doing, right?" he replied, pushing her dress up slowly until he could reach the waistband of her panties. "Well, I never leave before giving a woman at least two orgasms. I enjoy going down on women, so the first is always from my tongue and fingers and not my dick. Any complaints about that?" His fingers curled around her panties, dragging them down an inch before he stopped and looked up at her. "We can always skip to the main course if you're too impatient to wait, Swan."

"No," she almost whimpered. "No complaints at all."

Her panties were down her legs in the blink of an eye and he lifted first one foot then the other to help her out of them. Shifting closer on his knees, his mouth hovered only inches away from her core and she inhaled a sharp breath when he drew one of her legs over his shoulder and leaned forward, burying his face in her folds.

She actually needed to curl her fingers around the shelf as he started to nip and lick at her. God, he really knew what he was doing. Tender licks through her folds, swirls around her clit and then his tongue penetrated her and fucked her a few times before he went back to her clit. One finger slid into her, and she almost combusted right then and there. Her leg began to shake when he added a second finger, finger-fucking her hard while his mouth worked on her clit. She was spread even wider when he slid three fingers into her and she bit her lip to keep from crying out as the next flick of his tongue over her clit made her careen over the edge. Her walls contracted around his fingers as he kept thrusting them in and out, sliding over her G-spot and pushing her into another climax that was even more devastating than the first.

"Bloody hell," he rasped as he pulled his fingers out of her. "You're so damn responsive."

"Get up here," she breathed, wondering how she was able to stay upright when her whole body was feeling so weak. His arms were probably the only thing keeping her in place and when he let her leg slip from his shoulder she feared for a split second she might actually end up in a heap on the floor.

"As you wish, milady."

Her walls were still quivering with aftershocks as he shoved his pants down and rolled the condom over his admittedly impressive length. Grabbing her legs, he pulled them up until she wrapped them around his waist and a moan escaped her when he shifted her hips forward to get the right angle to slip into her.

He was thick and long, just perfect, stretching her deliciously and she let her eyes fall shut when he started to move, taking her with deep, hard thrusts. Every time he pushed forward he brushed over her sensitive spot, and she could already feel the first flutters of another orgasm sizzle through her body.

His harsh pants were ringing in her ears, the sounds of skin slapping against skin echoing through the small room, the danger of getting caught pushing her towards the edge again faster than she'd thought possible.

His thrusts came more quickly, turning more erratic. He slammed deep into her with one hard thrust, grunting into her ear as he climaxed. The jerks of his cock triggered her own orgasm and she clamped her walls around him, milking him dry as she came and came and came.

She ignored the feeling of loss when he slipped out of her, and she didn't meet his gaze when she bent down to retrieve her panties from the floor. She pulled them over her legs, her walls still fluttering every few seconds, as if her body didn't want her to forget that she'd just experienced the best orgasms of her life.

"All right," she murmured, brushing her dress down over her thighs before she locked eyes with him. "I have to admit, you do know what you're doing." His mouth curled up into a cocky smirk and she knew she needed to leave before this got totally out of hand here. "It was a pleasure, Jones."

She stumbled into Ruby the moment she stepped back into the ballroom. Her friend took one look at her and pulled her into the next corner with a knowing gaze.

"Ooookkkaaaayyy," she drawled, taping her fingers on Emma's arm. "Who was the lucky bastard?"

"Huh?" Emma said, hoping Ruby would drop it. Of course she didn't.

"Or should I ask what guy put that satisfied glow on your face?"

She didn't want to tell Ruby and she probably would have managed to get rid of her without spilling who she'd just fucked with in a supply closet if Killian hadn't stepped into the room just that moment. Her eyes apparently betrayed her and Ruby swiveled around, following her gaze. And of course the son of a bitch shot a lopsided smirk across the room before licking his lips and reminding her where those lips had been just a few minutes ago.

"Oh, you took Killian Jones for a ride?" Ruby squealed, letting out a throaty laugh as she turned her eyes on Emma. "Damn you, girl."

For a second Emma contemplated to deny it, but then she just said, "Yeah, I did."

"Details! I need details!"

"It was great, but it was only a one-time thing."

"Keep telling yourself that, hun," Ruby replied. "Just keep telling yourself that."

She didn't want to argue with Ruby and drag the conversation out even longer. She just shrugged her shoulders and turned around towards the bar. She needed a stiff drink to get her bearings back.

She'd just been fucked in the best way possible, but it wasn't more than that. After all there was a whole ocean between them, and even though her group of friends tried to stay in touch as much as possible, the fact that they were living on different continents made meeting in the flesh a rare occurrence. They mostly met on special occasions like weddings or funerals, and a wedding didn't seem to be in the immediate future. Mary Margaret and Regina were already married with no babies in sight. So no christenings either. Ruby, Elsa, and herself didn't even have a significant other in their lives and she sure hoped they didn't have to meet at a funeral for a very, very long time. She wouldn't stumble over Killian any time soon. It was a fling. It had been very satisfying sex in a closet and nothing else. Some fond memories. After all, fucking in a supply closet had been on her bucket list, so she could check that off now.

It definitely wasn't more than that. Just a checkmark on her bucket list.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Wedding II – Graham and Emma (September 2013)**_

He didn't really know why he'd come to this wedding. It wasn't as if he and Graham were still close. They had been once upon a time, but those times were long over.

Why he'd even gotten an invitation was beyond him. Especially since the last time he'd seen the bride they were getting it on in a supply closet. But that was over two years ago. Ancient history.

He'd still spent quite some time contemplating if he should come or not. The prospect of seeing Emma again might have been exhilarating if she wasn't the bride. He'd had a hard time getting her out of his head after their encounter at Robin's wedding. He'd jerked off to a few fantasies of her riding him into oblivion or of her mouth sucking him dry. However, that was back in the day. Water under the bridge, right?

He hadn't seen her in over two years, but he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that she was marrying Graham. He could only think of one reason - Graham needed a green card. It couldn't be anything else, since he'd bet his whole fortune (which was only eight hundred pounds, but still) that Graham was gay. But maybe he was bi. Not that it was any of his business in the first place.

He'd been hungover when he made the cross and sent the RSVP card back, and then he was too proud to revoke his decision. So now he was here, about to watch Emma marrying another man.

It didn't hurt.

At all.

-xxx-

Since it wasn't a love match but more of a business arrangement, she didn't have to deal with any pre-wedding jitters. But she had to admit her heart had skipped a beat when she'd seen Killian's RSVP card with the cross in the 'yes' field a month ago. She'd also checked if he was bringing a plus one - he didn't. Not that she cared of course. She was the bride after all.

She hadn't thought about him in months, not until it was time to send out the wedding invitations. She had been surprised how vivid the memories still were, though. Even after all this time. For a few days she'd toyed with the idea of calling him after Regina's wedding, to chance a go at a real relationship. But then her mind had convinced her otherwise, telling her it'd be foolish to believe something more than a few hours of great sex could come out of it.

But apparently she hadn't forgotten him completely. Her body still remembered him and a dull ache settled in her stomach. She shook it off immediately. She'd made her decision. Passionate love wasn't for her. Too risky. This marriage was perfect. Coming from a great friendship without any pesky feelings getting in the way.

The first look she got at Killian still felt like someone had sucker punched her, though. But she managed to get over it in the blink of an eye, determined to get through the ceremony with her head held high.

Keeping up the facade after the actual wedding was a lot harder, and after a few hours of smiling until her muscles threatened to freeze in place she decided it was time for an emergency cigarette. Elsa handed the pack to her without comment and Emma disappeared into the gardens, hoping no one saw her almost running over the lawn. She needed to smoke a cigarette in relative peace, just needed a few minutes to herself to shift the mask back into place.

The first deep drag of nicotine soothed her frazzled mind immediately and she leaned back against a tree, closing her eyes as she pulled at the cigarette again.

"Is there one left for me?"

She almost choked on the smoke she'd just inhaled. Her eyes flew opened and her heart started to race in her chest. She recognized that voice, knew who was standing in the shadows only a few feet away.

She held the pack towards him silently, hoping she'd pull off nonchalant small talk with him. He leaned back against the tree beside her after he'd lit the cigarette, his arm almost brushing hers. Crossing his legs at the ankles, he tilted his head to look at her and she had a hard time masking her reaction as his blue eyes met hers. She felt his gaze zinging through her whole body, a sensation she didn't really welcome, but one she couldn't stifle.

"I have to say, Swan," he drawled. "I was surprised when I got the invitation. Wouldn't have pegged you for the marrying type."

"Well, people can change their minds," she replied off-handedly, throwing her cigarette on the ground and stomping it out with her heel.

"Can they?" His voice was soft, barely above a whisper, making her heart skip a beat.

The air between them was suddenly heavy with tension as she locked eyes with him again. Throwing his own cigarette away, he took a step closer. She suddenly had problems breathing. She lifted her hand, pressing it against his chest to stop him. "Don't."

"Don't do what?" he rasped, his fingers skimming over the bare skin of her forearm. "We both know this marriage is nothing but a sham."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she breathed, trying to step back but her legs weren't moving.

"Don't tell me you're actually in love with him, Emma. Don't tell me you've actually been so foolish and fallen in love with a man who can never love you back. At least not in a physical sense."

He knew. Damn him, but he knew. Graham was very careful, and they were counting on no one knowing that he was actual gay. But Killian apparently knew.

"Of course I love him," she said with a conviction she didn't feel. "And he loves me, too."

"Why are you throwing your life away like that?" he asked, his hand lifting to cup her face.

"I'm not throwing anything away," she replied insistently, ignoring the short stab of pain slicing through her heart.

"You've made a mistake, love." His thumb brushed over her cheek, his touch making her knees go all weak. "A huge mistake."

"I don't think so." She shook her head and leaned back, his hand falling away from her cheek, making it a lot easier to breathe. "It's the perfect arrangement."

"But what about passion, Swan? What about feeling a need bigger than yourself, a need that rushes through your veins, burning everything in its path?" His voice was a husky promise, the intensity in his gaze eliciting hot flames of desire to sizzle through her. "What about having sex that leaves you boneless and so sated that you can't even remember your name?" Her core throbbed with need, but she'd decided a long time ago to never let her body control her. Not now. Not ever. "What about that?"

He was so close, she just needed to sway forward an inch and their mouths would touch. She was tempted, really tempted. But instead she forced herself to take a step back and shove the desire she felt for the man standing in front of her into the darkest corner of her brain. She actually imagined shoving it into a box and slamming the lid shut.

"Who needs passion?" she scoffed, acting totally blasé, as if her body wasn't burning up with need. "It never lasts."

"Don't be so sure about that, love. There's passion that can last a lifetime."

"You're being delusional, Jones."

"Maybe I am," he said, a tinge of sadness coloring his tone. Her throat closed up and her chest grew tight as he stepped away from her. "Have a good life, Emma. I hope your choice will keep you happy."

He turned around and walked away, her body longing for his touch as she followed him with her eyes. For a brief moment she contemplated going after him, pulling him into a quiet corner and having a repeat performance of the best sex she'd ever had. But then she stopped herself just in time. It was her wedding day, for God's sake. Even if it was all a sham, even if Graham and she had talked about it and decided that they didn't need to stay 'faithful' to each other, she couldn't already fuck someone else only hours after they'd exchanged their vows. Especially since they needed to have a 'real' relationship at least for a few months to fool the government. It would defy the whole purpose of this sham marriage if she was found with her legs wrapped around Killian's ass while he fucked the living daylights out of her.

And after all, passion was a fleeting thing. It never stayed. She would forget about him again eventually. She had to.


	3. Chapter 3

**Funeral – August (February 2014)**

Their marriage hadn't been perfect to begin with. It hadn't been real. But she hadn't expected that their marriage would end like this. With such sorrow, with such heartache.

Only looking at Graham made her whole body ache. He was so devastated. So lost. And she knew she couldn't go to him, because he'd asked her not to stand by his side. He didn't want to break down in public, and he'd told her that he would if she was staying beside him, if he had a shoulder to lean against and cry on.

He'd already cried his heart out when they received the message, his whole body shaking against hers when she'd wrapped her arms around him and held him close. Tears blurring her own vision because no matter how hard she'd tried she couldn't soothe his sorrows, couldn't fill the hole August's death had left in his heart.

Graham had lost the love of his life to a freaking accident. And she couldn't help asking herself the 'what if' questions. What if they had waited just a few more weeks … would Graham have met August without their marriage happening? What if they'd ended their marriage right then … when it was clear that Graham had fallen head over heels for August? Would it have changed anything? Would August still be here?

But of course asking yourself those questions didn't help in any way. August was dead, and nothing could bring him back.

She shouldn't feel so hopeless. She wasn't the one who had lost the love of her life. She'd liked August. She hadn't seen him often, but he'd made Graham happy and in her eyes that had been the most important thing.

But seeing Graham now … it just made her that much more convinced that she'd chosen the right path. Don't ever give your heart away. It just hurt too much if you lost the person you loved most in the world, and it was inevitable you would lose them. Of course she knew the saying … _it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all_ … but in her opinion it was utter bullshit. Loss could tear your heart apart, loss could make you never recover. What was love worth if it left you broken into a million pieces, if it left you lost and completely devastated?

The harsh winter wind was wiping over the graveyard and she shuttered in her thin coat, wrapping her arms around herself, trying to stay at least a little warm. She let her eyes sweep over the mourning crowd, and that was the moment her eyes fell on him. The person she didn't really expect to be here.

Killian Jones.

-xxx-

A surge of electricity had swept through him when his eyes had met hers at the graveyard. Her eyes had been red-rimmed, her cheeks hollow and all he could think about was enveloping her in his arms and try to soothe her heartache.

He definitely didn't imagine them ending up alone in a room together. Again.

At least this time around it wasn't a closet, but a library. An inappropriate bubble of laughter rose up in his chest when their surroundings reminded him of every romantic drama he'd ever seen on TV. The couple who wasn't supposed to be together always had a hot fuck in a library at some point. It seemed to be inevitable.

"Emma, I think we shouldn't ..." he started to speak but her finger pressing against his lips stopped him, and the pain in her eyes shut him up more effectively than her digit ever could.

"Shut the fuck up, Jones, and fuck me."

He was too weak to stop it, he could only spin her around and shove her against a bookshelf. He didn't care if he wrinkled her dress as he pulled it up over her ass, and apparently she didn't care either. She pushed her ass in his direction, widening her stance as she leaned forward to steady herself with her elbows pressed against the bookshelf. Grabbing her panties, he pulled them down her legs, his cock jerking in his pants as he saw her folds glistening with her arousal.

He hardly managed to push his own pants down, barely remembered to grab the condom out of his wallet and cover himself before he shuffled closer to her with his pants around his ankles.

"What are you waiting for?" she hissed, shooting him a menacing glare back over her shoulder. "If you don't hurry up, I'll have to get myself off."

He surged into her without checking first to see if she was really ready for him. But she was. God, she was so ready for him. Her wet, hot sheath enveloped him tightly, his balls drawing up in an instant. He bit down on his cheek hard, needing the pain to keep himself from coming as he plunged into her over and over again.

"God, just like that," she moaned, her hips pushing back to meet every single one of his thrusts, driving him nearly insane with the need to come. "Harder, Killian. God, please make me forget."

Digging his fingers into her waist, he upped the speed of his thrusts. By now he was pounding into her, the room reverberating with the sounds of naked flesh slamming together. Their moans and grunts filled the room, and he was glad that he'd actually locked the door so that no one could come in.

"Yes, yes, _yes_."

Gritting his teeth, he plunged into her as hard as he could, her walls clenching around him in such a hard grip that stars appeared in front of his eyes when all the blood rushed into his cock. His heart was threatening to beat out of his chest and sweat poured down his skin under his shirt. But he still kept up the insane pace, fucking Emma as if his life depended on it.

His balls tightened painfully and the base of his spine started to tingle. He knew he couldn't hold it back any longer. Leaning forward, he slipped his hand down to the point where they were joined, finding her clit. He rubbed his finger over it in sharp flicks while still slamming into her at the same frantic pace. He was rewarded seconds later by her walls clamping around his cock, her body bucking against his as she came with his name on her lips. He jerked his hips forward one last time, burying himself in her until the hilt, letting his own climax sweep over him.

His cock was still pulsing inside of her as she straightened and pushed against him, forcing him to take a step back and slip out of her. She bent down to grab her panties and pulled them back up before smoothing down her dress.

When she looked up her cold gaze froze him in place. His cock was still semi-hard, poking out from under his shirt, still pounding in the rhythm of his heartbeat. Her skin was flushed with the afterglow, but she clearly didn't want this to be more than a quick, satisfying fuck. Again. The words that came out of her mouth next still hurt, though.

"Thank you," she said with a cool voice. "I just needed to forget about how crappy life can be for a few minutes and you helped me with that. So thank you."

He should have probably stopped her as she started to walk towards the door. Should have probably said something. But he wasn't able to. He could only stand there with his pants around his ankles, staring after her until the door closed behind her.

He knew it had been a bad idea to approach her today. Her marriage had shattered into a million pieces only days ago. Though he knew, deep down, that the news that Graham had loved August hadn't been news to his wife.

But he understood why she needed him today, understood why she didn't even want to give them a chance for more. Graham had just lost the person who meant the most to him and everyone could see that the loss had devastated him. Of course seeing Graham like this must have reinforced her opinions about commitment. About love.

And maybe she was right. Maybe loving someone wasn't worth the pain it could cause.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wedding III – Killian and Milah (September 2015)**

This was totally fucked up. Her being here was totally fucked up. What had she been thinking?

When she'd gotten the invitation, her heart had actually plummeted into her stomach and her lungs had constricted for a brief second, making it very hard to breathe. She'd shrugged it off at first, but whenever her eyes had fallen on the invitation – because of course she couldn't just get rid of it and forget about it, she had to pin it to her refrigerator so that she would see it every day when she took out the milk for her coffee – it felt as if someone had just sucker punched her.

She didn't know why she felt that way. She had no claim over him. No rights at all. She had pushed him away not once but twice. What had she expected? That he would wait for her? That he would burst through her door and fall on his knees, begging her to be with him?

Of course he could be with any woman he wanted, could even marry her. It was none of her business to be upset about this. But still she was. Which made her being here even more ridiculous.

Maybe she just needed to feel the pain, needed to see him saying 'I do' to make it real. To quench all the silly hopes her heart had harbored. Hopes her heart hadn't even had a right to feel at all. She never wanted to hope. For anything. Hope was only there to be crushed.

Like today.

A voice in her head chastised her that she was being ridiculous here. It wasn't as if she had even given him a chance. He hadn't even known she'd been interested in more, that she wouldn't have pushed him away when he'd just fought for her.

No one had ever fought for her.

 _God, would you just stop being so pathetic?_

She was here now, and she would see it through. It might actually help with quenching the last remnants of the silly thoughts about a love that could last forever. She would just look at it from an educational point of view. It would help cement her opinion when it came to love even more.

Love didn't last. A love that would last forever didn't exist.

-xxx-

Everyone had told him it was too soon. Too fast. He'd shrugged them all off. But now, on his actual wedding day, he started to really think about all the concerns the people he loved had voiced. They weren't totally wrong. He'd met Milah only five months ago. She'd been still married to another man at that point, even if the divorce was already in its last stages. She was eight years older than him, but that had never bothered him. She was a beautiful woman and he loved her. Had fallen head over heels for her.

But now … now he started to have doubts if marrying her was really the right thing. Because over the last six weeks it had seemed like Milah hadn't been as into it as she'd been before. All the wedding preparations that had put a glitter in her eyes before had put a forced expression on her face the last few weeks. Ever since she'd been on her bachelorette party she'd been kind of distant. Something he hadn't really acknowledged because he'd been struggling, too. Ever since he'd seen Emma's RSVP card. Milah had swept him off his feet back then, crashing into his life like a tornado and wiping everything else away. But only seeing Emma's name on the card … it brought back all the memories of their two frantic encounters, brought back feelings he didn't really want to feel. But they were there, and they didn't want to go away again. But they would, eventually. He was sure of that. He loved Milah. He wanted to marry her. They would have an amazing life, the life he always dreamed of. Nothing and no one would push him off this track.

Two hours later he was standing in front of the altar, waiting for Milah to walk down the aisle. And when she did his heart stuttered in his chest for just one moment. She was a vision. Her beauty took his breath away. Every doubt vanished out of his brain when she stepped beside him and they both turned to face the priest.

The doubts didn't come back until the priest asked the question, "If anyone has any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace."

The church was silent for the obligatory few seconds and he swallowed hard to get rid of the queasy feeling in his stomach, wishing the priest would just speak up again and end this awkward moment. But before he could a voice pierced through the silence, "I have an objection."

Killian's heart slammed into his throat and he turned around slowly, searching for the owner of the voice. He saw Milah trembling beside him. She clearly knew who had spoken up, but he was totally clueless. His eyes fell on the only person who was standing and he furrowed his brows as he recognized Ruby. Before he could actually process why Ruby was objecting to this wedding, another voice spoke up, a voice he knew very well, "I have one, too."

Murmurs welled up throughout the church and all he could do was flick his eyes between Ruby and Liam and back to Ruby, trying to come up with anything to say to make this go away. But the two people who were standing up apparently didn't want to follow the program. Instead, they actually pushed it even further.

"She loves someone else," Ruby said at the same moment Liam announced, "He loves someone else."

For a split second he cursed himself for ever confiding in Liam about the things that had happened with Emma. But only for a split second. The short burst of anger was followed by such a huge amount of relief that his knees almost gave out under him. He hadn't been brave enough to call it off, hadn't even been brave enough to voice his doubts, to at least postpone the wedding. But his brother had known, and he'd stopped him from making the biggest mistake of his life.

"I'm so sorry, Killian." Milah's whispered words brought him back to the present and the fact that they were standing in front of a priest who was supposed to marry them. "I can't … I just can't marry you."

Her lips brushed over his cheek for a split second before she grabbed the skirt of her wedding dress, yanked it up so that her feet were free and ran out of the church as if the devil himself were after her. The church was silent for a few heartbeats before the whispers started, rising in volume with each passing second.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Ruby slip out of the church after Milah, knowing Ruby would take care of Milah. Throwing one glance at Liam and Elsa and seeing their knowing gazes told him that they would deal with the aftermath. He sent them a grateful smile before he practically ran out himself, ignoring all the questions thrown his way.

When he burst out of the church through a side entrance he filled his lungs with the fresh autumn air, feeling as if he hadn't really breathed for weeks. Movement at the edge of his vision caught his attention and the blonde locks of hair made his feet move before his mind caught up.

He found her hidden behind some bushes, the smell of cigarette smoke wafting into his nostrils before he walked around the hedge. Her eyes zeroed in on him the moment he stepped into her view. But she didn't say a word, just held out the pack of cigarettes to him.

He grabbed the pack as though it were a lifeline, lighting a cigarette and inhaling the smoke deep into his lungs before blowing it out. Emma still hadn't said anything, and strangely, the silence didn't bother him. Somehow it helped to soothe him and he relaxed against the tree behind him.

They finished their cigarettes in silence, not looking at each other before they'd put out the stumps under their shoes. But when their eyes met, the want slammed into him with such a force that he stumbled backwards. He wanted her. He wanted Emma. It had always been her. It would always be her. No matter what would happen in the next seconds, he would always want _her_.

She just stared at him, her eyes such a bright green that he felt the need to blink. But he couldn't. He couldn't blink. He couldn't avert his eyes. Because if he did, she might be gone when he opened his eyes again.

Time went by, maybe only seconds, maybe minutes, maybe hours. He didn't even know. He was transfixed by her eyes. Couldn't move. Couldn't speak. He could just stand there and wait.

But finally she released him, stepping towards him until her body brushed up against his. Her arms went around his waist in the same moment he enveloped her. Letting out a shuddering breath, he closed his eyes, relishing in the feel of having her in his arms again.

"I've missed you," he whispered, his chest closing up with emotions as he held her close. "I've missed you so much, Swan."

"I've missed you, too," she replied, her lips brushing over his neck as she tilted her head.

"So … you're giving this a chance?" he asked barely above a whisper, afraid of her answer. But nonetheless, he pushed himself to reiterate the question, not giving her an out. "You're giving us a chance?"

"Yes." The one word made his heart slam against his ribcage with joy, but he was still holding his breath until she added, "I want to give us a fighting chance."

It should be totally insane that he was hugging a woman against his chest only hours after he should have said 'I do' to another, but having Emma in his arms felt just right. If he could he would stay with her like this forever. Part of him was afraid that if they moved, the spell would break and everything would turn out to be just a dream. But then she shifted in his arms and leaned back, the smile she gave him knocking the breath out of him.

"Don't screw it up, Jones."

He felt his mouth curl up into a huge grin and he tightened his arms around her as he replied, "I won't."


	5. Chapter 5

**Wedding IV – Liam and Elsa (July 2016)**

Emma had gotten used to waking up like this – at least on the days she was off work and didn't need to get up at a specific time. Nimble fingers slipped under her sleep shirt, trailing lazy circles on her stomach before wandering upwards and tightening around her breast. She sighed softly when Killian started to play with her nipples that were already straining towards his touch.

"Good morning, love," a husky voice whispered in her ear, and she shifted backwards, wiggling her ass over his already hardening cock.

"Good morning, indeed."

His hand left her breast and she almost protested loudly, but knew that he wouldn't leave her high and dry. He never did when he woke her up like this. This morning was no exception. His hand drifted lower, pushing below the waistband of her panties, a satisfied grumble vibrating against her skin as his lips ghosted over her shoulder and his fingers slipped through her already soaking wet folds.

"I'm hungry," he growled as his fingers played over her already throbbing clit.

At the beginning of their relationship she'd made the error of assuming he'd been actually talking about real food while his fingers had dipped into her aching core. But she'd learned very soon that this certain timbre in his voice always meant that he was hungry for going down on her. For eating her out until she screamed his name and came hard around his fingers or tongue, whichever was in her at the time her orgasm crashed over her.

So it was no surprise that her body was already trembling with anticipation when he pushed her on her back and peeled her panties down her legs. Laying down between her thighs, he shot her a wide grin before he leaned forward and buried his face in her folds, using his skilled tongue and fingers to bring her to an earth-shattering climax.

She was still panting and her walls still fluttered with the aftershocks when his cock plunged deep into her. He didn't give her any time to come down from her high, he just pushed her up again. It took only a few thrusts before she came around him a second time, digging her nails into his ass as he let out a deep growl and spilled his release inside her.

He managed to slip out of her and crash down beside her instead of on top of her. They stayed silent for a few minutes until Emma remembered what day it was and that they didn't have the time to stay in bed and enjoy a second round.

"Okay, lover boy." She turned around and poked him in the ribs to get him moving. "Rise and shine."

"I already did rise," he replied, wiggling his eyebrows at her, his mouth curling into a lascivious smirk when he added, "And shine."

She rolled her eyes at him and poked him again. "Liam and Elsa are waiting. It's their big day and we don't want to be late, do we?"

"Of course not," Killian grumbled as he rolled out of bed and stumbled towards the bathroom.

She let herself enjoy the view of his naked and toned backside for a few seconds before she threw her legs off the side of the bed and followed him.

-xxx-

"It was about time that you finally put a ring on her finger," Killian said as he pulled his brother into a hug.

"You know bloody well that I wanted to for a very long time," Liam replied, turning around to look at his wife of thirty minutes. "She just didn't want to give in without a fight. Right, sweetheart?"

"Right, sugar," Elsa replied, blowing Liam a kiss that made his brother grin like a loon.

"I'm so happy for you, brother."

"And I for you, Killian."

Killian's eyes went to Emma who was standing a few feet away, looking gorgeous in the burgundy dress she'd chosen to wear today, making him wonder how he'd gotten so lucky to call her his girlfriend.

"We're both lucky bastards, aren't we?" Killian asked his brother without taking his eyes off Emma.

He knew without looking that his brother's eyes were locked on Elsa as he replied, "That we are."

-xxx-

The wedding dinner and the toasts were a rambunctious affair, the crowd howling with laughter as Killian and Emma told the obligatory embarrassing stories about Liam and Elsa.

Hours later, his head was swimming a little with all the alcohol he'd consumed and he opted to drink a few glasses of water before starting in on the wine again. Leaning back in his chair, he let his eyes roam over the people in search of Emma, and when he found her his heart skipped a beat. She laughed heartedly about something Ruby just told her, and he had to smile when Milah stepped behind Ruby and swirled her around, planting a thorough kiss on her girlfriend's lips before whisking her away. Probably towards a hot make out session in a quiet corner.

He was still utterly grateful that his brother and Ruby had prevented them from making the biggest mistake of their lives. Following the two women with his eyes as they disappeared through a door, he saw Milah's hand slip under the dress that hardly covered Ruby's backside and grope her ass. The action caused him to search for Emma again, a deep ache settling in his stomach as he realized that having her just a few hours ago didn't stop him from wanting her again. Fortunately, Emma had apparently the same idea because when he met her eyes again she sent him an inviting look and turned around. She threw him an impish grin over her shoulder and his cock replied immediately by tightening and straining against its confines.

"Bloody minx," he grumbled as he stood up to follow her out the door.

A flight of stairs upwards and a few doors down they found a closet. At least this time the closet had an actual lock, which Emma turned before dropping to her knees and pulling his pants open. His cock sprang free, eagerly jumping in the direction of her mouth. She didn't wait even a second, wrapping her lips firmly around the head and sucking at him as if his cock were her favorite candy.

How he ended up with a woman who loved giving him head as much as he loved going down on her was still a mystery to him. A mystery he didn't complain much about as he tightened his fingers in her hair and tugged softly so that she tilted her head upwards and met his eyes. He almost burst his release down her throat then, the view of her mouth stretched wide to swallow his cock and the burning desire swirling in her eyes nearly too much.

"Not today," he murmured and she understood instantly, he didn't need to clarify his request.

"How would you like to ravish me then?" she asked as she straightened, her hand going immediately back to his cock and pumping him slowly.

"Turn around, love."

She obeyed immediately, leaning forward until her ass was at the perfect height for him to fuck her hard from behind. His cock jerked with anticipation when he pulled her dress up over her thighs and ass. Not bothering with removing her skimpy panties, he just shoved them aside and stepped forward. Curling one hand around her shoulder and one around her waist, he rasped, "Hold on tight."

He practically hammered into her, the small part of his brain that still functioned wondering if he was maybe too rough with her. But then Emma actually demanded that he should fuck her harder and he lost every hold on his restraint and thrust into her with deep and hard plunges until he felt his spine start to tingle and his balls grow tight with the need to release his semen into her. But he didn't want to go alone. His fingers found her clit and it only took a few hard rubs to push her over. He groaned loudly when her walls grabbed him hard and he slammed into her one last time before he let himself fall after her.

-xxx-

Elsa greeted them with a knowing grin when they stumbled back into the reception hall and Liam only shook his head and rolled his eyes, but he didn't care at all. He probably had the most goofy grin on his face as he wrapped his arm around Emma's shoulders and pulled her close against his side.

"I think they're jealous."

"No, they're not," Emma replied with conviction. "They don't have a reason to be jealous."

He winced at the obvious implication and said, "I'm certain I don't wanna hear about my brother's exploits."

"They actually rival ours," Emma told him with a teasing glint in her eyes.

"Yeah, I really don't need to know that," he replied, shaking his head while trying not to smile.

She laughed out loud and pulled him towards their seats at the table of the newlyweds. A waiter was at their side the moment they sat down and filled their wine glasses anew. But he had only eyes for Emma. She was radiant. Her cheeks slightly flushed, her eyes bright with happiness and her mouth still curled up in a smug grin since she knew telling him about Elsa and Liam's sexual activities had to make him slightly uncomfortable. He didn't begrudge her the fun of teasing him. He loved her too much to even feel the slightest bit affronted.

He had found the perfect woman for him. She was everything he never knew he needed. Everything he could ever hope for, and after a rocky start they'd finally found their way to each other.

He didn't need a ring on her finger to reassure himself that she would stay with him forever. The last year with her had dissolved all the doubts that had lingered in his heart and mind.

"I love you," he whispered, brushing his lips over her forehead.

"And I love you," she replied, her eyes so full of love that a lump formed in his throat.

Her hand slipped into his, their fingers intertwined and he tilted his head towards her when hers came to rest on his shoulder. His heart was full to bursting with love and happiness, he actually had to close his eyes for a moment to keep the tears at bay that suddenly pricked at the back of his eyes.

"Don't get sappy on me now, Jones," Emma said without moving her head and he chuckled softly, squeezing her fingers tightly.

"I wouldn't dare, Swan."

"Good," she replied and snuggled even closer.

Lifting her other hand, she put it on his thigh. Way up on his thigh. Just a jerk of her little finger and she would brush against the erection that he wasn't able to keep in check. He just finished that thought when her little finger did just that. He caught the smug smirk that played over her lips out of the corner of his eyes which caused his mouth to tilt up into a grin as he gripped her hand and moved it a few inches lower to remove the temptation. He heard her let out a soft huff of disappointment, her fingers tapping against his thigh to tell him without words that she would come back to her attempt of seducing him into another quickie later. His heart just swelled in his chest even more with the love he had for the woman in his arm. Having her here with him as his girlfriend at his brother's wedding day was everything he needed.

It was perfect. Utterly perfect.

 **The End**

* * *

 _I know a few of you expected a CS wedding, but I wanted to stay close to the movie._

 _I hope you liked this little ficlet. I had a blast writing it. Thank you so much for your reviews everyone, all the favorites and follows. Every single email notification makes me smile._

 _So the only thing left to say is … until the next time. (And I'm back to writing my two other on-going stories before probably writing a Priest!Killian fic that will be set in cursed Storybrooke.)_


End file.
